Do I Know My Bishop?
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Earlier today, an Orthodox brother was trying to help me put the Roman Pontiff’s failing health into perspective. “What if,” he said, “it was our bishop? How would you feel?” I’ve met his emminence Dmitri, as well as other bishops: his emminence Job and his grace Nikon. However, I have never spent quality time with my bishop, as many of my brothers and sisters in my parish have. I remember him as a kind, gentle sort of man, but I find myself at odds with some of his policies in our diocese, particularly in the liturgical sphere. Perhaps my ability to relate to him as a bishop would be improved if I had been able to spend some time with him last May.
Sometimes I wonder what obedience to my bishop should look like. I tend to have rather strong opinions (as previous posts attest), and I think sometimes I appear disrespectful of authority or even rebellious. Some of the same prinicples of authority and obedience apply in the Church as in the military. I’m learning that I understand submission to authority much better than I thought I did. Yet, the Church is not a military organization. Obedience and submission proceed from love, not power or fear. I think this is part of what I’m missing.
Perhaps if I had been able to spend time with him, as the rest of my parish did, I could more easily submit to my bishop out of love. Instead, I find that I associate my bishop with my return to a home parish where everything is changing liturgically. Before I left, we used mostly standard OCA texts and music. This made the parish I worship with in Connecticut very familiar — much of the texts were the same. I loved being able to step into another parish and feel at home. Now I don’t feel at home when I return home! Since my connection with my home parish is deeply important to me, this disconnect really angers me.
Thus, it’s hard for me to relate to his emminence Dmitri as a loving father; I tend to relate to him as the guy who came in and changed everything back home. Very perplexing emotions for an Orthodox convert, to say the least.