Prayers from the Depths
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Along with the lenten prayer of Saint Ephrem the Syrian, I have been contemplating how accurate the prayer of St. John Damascene is for me:
O master who loves mankind! Is this bed to be my coffin? Or will you enlighten my darkened soul with another day? Behold, my coffin; behold, death looms before me. I fear your judgment, O Lord, and the endless suffering, yet I do not cease my evil ways. I always disappoint you, my Lord God: you, your most pure mother, all the powers of heaven, and my holy guardian angel. Lord, I know that I do not deserve your love; indeed, I deserve every condemnation and suffering. Yet, Lord, save me, whether I want it or not. When you save the righteous, it is no wonder; when you have mercy on the pure, it is no surprise, for they are worthy of your mercy. Dumbfound us with your mercy towards me, a sinner. In this way reveal your love, that my wickedness may not overcome your inexpressible goodness and mercy, and order my life as you will.