With All My Voice
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With all my voice I cry to the Lord, with all my voice I entreat the Lord for mercy.
Each day I trek as the cold, New England winter wind rips across my face. Every day I cross nearly the breadth of the base knowing that this day shall be like the previous. The answer shall be the same. I hope for some letter, from you, from her, from someone dear. Every day, the same. Emptiness.
Well, not every day. Sometimes I get a bill.
Look to my right and see: I have no friends. There is nowhere to run, no one to care for my soul.
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5 Responses to “With All My Voice”
Copyright © 2002–2011 Kevin Robert (Basil) Fritts, all rights reserved.
March 2nd, 2005 at 10:23 am
Are you sure about this or are you whining just a bit? As a person here in the frozen wilds of New England who has attempted over the last several months to become a friend, my experience is one of being distinctly kept at bay by your intellectual armoring…& I feel disappointed, not because I am trying to “come on to you” or anything remotely like that, but because you have seemed like someone with whom I could share conversation & experience & comaraderie within the context of the Church. And because of that I’m risking telling you this here. With kind regards & wishes for you to feel the warmth of a gentle sun on your face.
March 2nd, 2005 at 1:05 pm
Sorry, Johanna. It’s some hyperbole, based on visiting the mailbox every day to find it empty. It gets pretty lonely sometimes, and the words of that psalm from vespers came to mind. I do count you as a friend, and I apologize if my lament came across as dismissive.
March 2nd, 2005 at 5:32 pm
I’m so sorry, Basil, if I was a bit on the harsh side. Being married I tend to forget what I felt like before I had the constant presence of my husband in my life, & I think I was fairly lonely at times too. Sometimes now I feel lonely, particularly if there’s no one around that I can share those creative thoughts & insights with who really seems to give a hoot. That is perhaps the worst loneliness of all. I don’t know what your leave situation is, being on the base, but perhaps sometime you would find good society & different company coming to our home to have a lenten dinner with George & I. Just a thought…
March 2nd, 2005 at 9:39 pm
No need to apologize. No one likes whining. I try to do it as little as possible, but sometimes it just comes out. Thank you for the invitation; I may take you up on that sometime.
March 3rd, 2005 at 8:34 pm
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, Basil, and they didn’t sound like whining to me any more than the Psalms do. And I love the Psalms. It’s good for the soul to be reminded that one isn’t alone in the pleasant as well as not-so-pleasant states of mind and heart.