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With All My Voice

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Written by Basil on 03/1/2005 11:03 PM. Filed under:

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With all my voice I cry to the Lord, with all my voice I entreat the Lord for mercy.

Each day I trek as the cold, New England winter wind rips across my face. Every day I cross nearly the breadth of the base knowing that this day shall be like the previous. The answer shall be the same. I hope for some letter, from you, from her, from someone dear. Every day, the same. Emptiness.

Well, not every day. Sometimes I get a bill.

Look to my right and see: I have no friends. There is nowhere to run, no one to care for my soul.

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5 Responses to “With All My Voice”

  1. Johanna Says:

    Are you sure about this or are you whining just a bit? As a person here in the frozen wilds of New England who has attempted over the last several months to become a friend, my experience is one of being distinctly kept at bay by your intellectual armoring…& I feel disappointed, not because I am trying to “come on to you” or anything remotely like that, but because you have seemed like someone with whom I could share conversation & experience & comaraderie within the context of the Church. And because of that I’m risking telling you this here. With kind regards & wishes for you to feel the warmth of a gentle sun on your face.

  2. Basil Says:

    Sorry, Johanna. It’s some hyperbole, based on visiting the mailbox every day to find it empty. It gets pretty lonely sometimes, and the words of that psalm from vespers came to mind. I do count you as a friend, and I apologize if my lament came across as dismissive.

  3. Johanna Says:

    I’m so sorry, Basil, if I was a bit on the harsh side. Being married I tend to forget what I felt like before I had the constant presence of my husband in my life, & I think I was fairly lonely at times too. Sometimes now I feel lonely, particularly if there’s no one around that I can share those creative thoughts & insights with who really seems to give a hoot. That is perhaps the worst loneliness of all. I don’t know what your leave situation is, being on the base, but perhaps sometime you would find good society & different company coming to our home to have a lenten dinner with George & I. Just a thought…

  4. Basil Says:

    No need to apologize. No one likes whining. I try to do it as little as possible, but sometimes it just comes out. Thank you for the invitation; I may take you up on that sometime.

  5. Dawn Says:

    I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, Basil, and they didn’t sound like whining to me any more than the Psalms do. And I love the Psalms. It’s good for the soul to be reminded that one isn’t alone in the pleasant as well as not-so-pleasant states of mind and heart.