Don’t Feed the Technicians

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My manager sent around a note earlier today, warning us of an impending tour. Let me paraphrase:

We will have a tour later today. I’m sorry this note is too late to affect how you dress [read: I wish you could have dressed like suits today]. These are VIPs from $importantCustomerAcct. Let’s not have any feet up on desks, balls bouncing in the air, or web pages displayed on monitors.

Really. He should have been more clear. Let me rewrite that:

Please do not smile. Do not hang on the cages. The zookeepers will sweep out the feces. Please do not fling anything at the visitors. Please do not attempt to reach through the bars. I know you do not enjoy your jobs; please do not pretend to enjoy your jobs. If these VIPs from $importantCustomerAcct think you enjoy your job, we may lose the account.

Hopefully, he also sent a note to the VIPs:

Please do not approach the cages. Please do not feed the monkeys. The monkeys will make noise. Please do not encourage the monkeys.

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