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Yahoo! News Apologizes for Omission

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Written by Basil on 10/18/2004 5:42 PM. Filed under:

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Yahoo! News was quickly forced by the world’s 2 million Orthodox Christians to apologize for ignoring them. An article released earlier today, “Anglicans Urge Ban on Gay Marriage, Gay Bishops,” referred to divisions between Anglicans and other Christians in this way:

The dispute served to highlight the differences between the Anglicans, who govern themselves by consensus, and their fellow Christians in the much larger Roman Catholic Church, which is run under the strict authority of the Pope.

Orthodox Christians quickly complained that they were left out of the comparison, even though they outnumber Anglicans worldwide by quite a bit. They also contended that the ecclesial government of Anglicanism could not properly be called consensual.

Yahoo! News responded with this apology, though they did not amend the original copy: “We apologize to the world’s two million Orthodox Christians. We read in the AP Stylebook that you, too, are consensual, and yet, surprisingly, you are very conservative. You are way more conservative than the pope, in fact. Frankly, we don’t know how to categorize you people. Sorry.”

In a response to Yahoo! News’ reply, spokesman Hieroschemamonk Vasily Vasileivich complained, “The Pope, does he hold to the strict tradition of the unbroken Church? No, he does not. Was it Roman Catholicism in seventeenth century Russia? No, it was not!”

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14 Responses to “Yahoo! News Apologizes for Omission”

  1. Chris Dmitri Says:

    That’s just great, where is the apology? Yahoo!’s site is horrible.

  2. Tabitha Says:

    2 million? That doesn’t sound right!

  3. Erich Says:

    I don’t know where you got this article, but it must be somehow related to The Onion Dome. Although I can’t find it on their website, it’s clearly in their line of humor. In addition, it’s their Father Vasily Vasilievich, spokesman for the COROC, who always says, “Was it (fill in the blank) in nineteenth century Russia?” Also, that 2 million wouldn’t cover the US, I think. World-wide, it would be closer to 200 million (although such estimates may exaggerate).

  4. Victoria Says:

    “Frankly, we don’t know how to categorize you people.” Personally I’d take that as a compliment considering the source.

  5. basil Says:

    Holy Mother of God! I need to stop writing stuffy theologicality so much. I’m dumbfounded that this article would be taken seriously. It’s satire. I even included an easily recognizable character from the genre.

    Or perhaps I need a sign.

  6. basil Says:

    As to the stat on the number of O-Christians, I was sure I’d read 2M somewhere, though it may be outdated. Or maybe it was, indeed, 200 million. Need to find a stat and bookmark it or something.

  7. basil Says:

    OK. I found a citation for the 2 million figure: the article on Eastern Orthodoxy on “In the U.S., membership estimates range from 1.2 million 3 to over 3 million.”

    Ugh. I cannot believe I just found a citation for a reference in a FAUX ARTICLE!

  8. Karl Thienes Says:

    The problem Basil, obviously, is that you used an awful lot of words. 🙂

  9. Chris Dmitri Says:

    Wait, people thought you were serious… all I needed was the We read in the AP Stylebook that you, too, are consensual, and yet, surprisingly, you are very conservative. bit to know that this was faux… I was hoping youo would do something with the “horrible site design” bit, but oh well.

  10. Erich Says:

    See, you were just caught all around. However, you should watch out. The army of copyright lawyers for the Onion Dome may descend upon you for stealing Vasily Vasilievich from them. However, at least you had him referring to the 17th century, instead of the 19th (which they always do). Maybe that’s the loop hole you need.

  11. James Says:

    This all seemed like a joke, but since everyone seemed to take it seriously I was confused (afraid to be the lone seer I guess), so I waited for clarity. Yes, I was also stunned the Fr. Vasily referred to the 17th Century.

  12. alana Says:

    I’m a looser…. I thought it was real. Auuuuuuuugh!

  13. James Says:

    Quit putting yourself down so much. By doing so you are insulting one of my friends, and I’m bound to protect my friends. So … I mean … but then I can’t like smack you around or anything ‘cuz you’re my friend … but then … argghghgh. Just stop it! Okay?

  14. Hieroschemamonk Vasily Vasileivich Says:

    Was it humorous in 19th Century Russia? Or even 17th Century Russia? No it was not! Kevin Basil is outrage!