A Farce of Titles

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In the interests of increasing the levels of healthy satire, I offer the following farce of titles you are not likely to see anytime soon. Unfortunately, there has been a recent rash of sensitivity going around, so I leave the identity of the authors to your skills of induction.

1. Sensitive Mules: An ethnological study of the Pott/Kettel feud over color.
2. Hiding Your Freudian Slips: How to be a behaviorist while convincing your friends that you hate psychology.
3. Tongue-twisters: An argument for using multiple, inconsistent translations in every parish.
4. Jesus Was Schizo! Applying priniciples of modern psychotherapy to classical Christology.
5. La-la-la! I Can’t Hear You! My spiritual father trumps the synod of bishops, especially when it makes my sex life easier.
6. Christo-technics: How one Orthodox priest uses technology in the service of God.
7. Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You: The tragic effects of telephone phobia on one family.
8. Infliction: How the use of older-age toys by younger children might possibly lead to tragedy in a small church, an extensive and detailed explanation of how intricate rules have been developed for the safety of your child.
9. The Day They Call Me That, I Quit! An examination of the terms servant, minister, deacon, missionary and apostle in the history of the Church.
10. I Don’t Know: Silent ignorance as a loud witness for Orthodox Christianity.

Of course, this does not bring up the levels of satire to the levels required by the Saints and Prophets Administration, but it makes a small dent .

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12 Responses to “A Farce of Titles”

1. 

   pete Says:
   January 9th, 2004 at 10:54 am

   these all sound like dissertation titles, which means, of course, that they aren’t likely to be available to anyone whether they’re ever published or not.

2. 

   James Says:
   January 9th, 2004 at 11:10 am

   Wow, you have my curiosity peeked now. I wonder who you would attribute some of them too.

3. 

   Karl Thienes Says:
   January 9th, 2004 at 12:50 pm

   These are great!

4. 

   alana Says:
   January 9th, 2004 at 2:58 pm

   I like those!…even though they are all about ME, I just know it!!! (um, sarcasm…)

5. 

   Mr. Hibbity Gibbity Says:
   January 9th, 2004 at 4:23 pm

   I would like to think that #1 refers to me . . . but then again, perhaps it’s another and I’m just missing it.

6. 

   James Says:
   January 9th, 2004 at 5:25 pm

   No. 5 and No. 10 are all about me. Oh well.

7. 

   James Says:
   January 9th, 2004 at 5:26 pm

   I’m dying to know who “wrote” No. 7.

8. 

   basil Says:
   January 10th, 2004 at 9:14 am

   #5 is not about you or I — or any other single. We already have the easiest sex life possible — and on the sex life of singles our spiritual father is in complete accord with the synod and the unbroken tradition of the catholic Church.

9. 

   James Says:
   January 10th, 2004 at 9:58 am

   Of course he is Basil … I was just being silly. Actually I made a comment in the marriage class last month that I thought you had heard about. That’s all.

10. 

    lisa Says:
    January 10th, 2004 at 11:40 am

    James, I’m guessing that seven was written by us. “We” are big on the policy of “the phone is for my convenience, not yours.”

11. 

    Moose Says:
    January 12th, 2004 at 8:44 pm

    doh… I don’t think I wrote any of those… 🙁

12. 

    Chris J. Davis Says:
    January 13th, 2004 at 10:02 am

    Moose: Sorry brother but I think that at least #4 is in reference to a certain catechism class we all remember.

    I have some of my own to add to this list, but alas I fear that they would be too obvious and hurtful, so I will remain silent… but laughing.